Rock'n'roll reactionaries: Meet the not-so-hip parade
So you think modern music is the sound of revolution? Think again. The right-wing US magazine 'National Review' has taken a fresh look at some of our favourite songs and discovered a decidedly conservative streak. Dylan will never sound the same again...
Saturday, 27 May 2006
1. Won't Get Fooled Again, by The Who
The conservative movement is full of disillusioned revolutionaries; this could be their theme song, an oath that swears off naive idealism. "There's nothing in the streets/Looks any different to me/And the slogans are replaced, by-the-by ... Meet the new boss/Same as the old boss." The best number by a big band, and a classic for conservatives.
2. Taxman, by The Beatles
A Harrison masterpiece with a famous riff (played by McCartney): "If you drive a car, I'll tax the street/If you try to sit, I'll tax your seat/If you get too cold, I'll tax the heat/If you take a walk, I'll tax your feet." The song closes with a humorous jab at death taxes: "Now my advice for those who die/Declare the pennies on your eyes."
3. Sympathy for the Devil, by The Rolling Stones
Don't be misled by the title. The devil is a tempter who leans hard on moral relativism - he'll try to make you think "every cop is a criminal/And all the sinners saints". He's also the inspiration for the cruelties of Bolshevism: "I stuck around St Petersburg/ When I saw it was a time for a change/Killed the tsar and his ministers/Anastasia screamed in vain."
4. Sweet Home Alabama, by Lynyrd Skynyrd
A tribute to the US region that liberals love to loathe, taking a shot at Neil Young's Canadian arrogance too: "A Southern man don't need him around anyhow."
5. Wouldn't it be Nice, by The Beach Boys
Pro-abstinence and pro-marriage: "Maybe if we think and wish and hope and pray it might come true/Baby then there wouldn't be a single thing we couldn't do/We could be married/And then we'd be happy."
6. Gloria, by U2
Just because a rock song is about faith doesn't mean it's conservative. But one that's about faith and whose chorus is in Latin? That's beautifully reactionary: "Gloria/In te domine/Gloria/Exultate."
7. Revolution, by The Beatles
"You say you want a revolution/Well you know/We all want to change the world ... Don't you know you can count me out?" And: "If you go carrying pictures of Chairman Mao/You ain't going to make it with anyone anyhow."
8. Bodies, by The Sex Pistols
Violent and vulgar, but also a searing anti-abortion anthem by the quintessential punk band: "It's not an animal/It's an abortion."
9. Don't Tread on Me, by Metallica
A head-banging tribute to the doctrine of peace through strength, written in response to the first Gulf War: "So be it/ Threaten no more/To secure peace is to prepare for war."
10. 20th Century Man, by The Kinks
Ray Davies gets all historical. "You keep all your smart modern writers/Give me William Shakespeare/You keep all your smart modern painters/I'll take Rembrandt, Titian, Da Vinci, and Gainsborough ... I was born in a welfare state/Ruled by bureaucracy/Controlled by civil servants/And people dressed in grey/Got no privacy got no liberty/'Cos the 20th-century people/Took it all away from me."
11. The Trees, by Rush
Before there was Rush Limbaugh, there was Rush, a Canadian band whose lyrics are often libertarian. What happens in a forest when equal rights become equal outcomes? "The trees are all kept equal/By hatchet, axe and saw."
12. Neighborhood Bully, by Bob Dylan
A pro-Israel song released in 1983, two years after the bombing of Iraq's nuclear reactor, this ironic number could be a theme song for the Bush Doctrine: "He destroyed a bomb factory, nobody was glad/The bombs were meant for him/He was supposed to feel bad/He's the neighborhood bully."
13. My City was Gone, by The Pretenders
Most American conservatives know the bass line, which is the theme for Limbaugh's radio show. But the lyrics also display a sensibility against central planning and a dissatisfaction with rapid change: "I went back to Ohio/But my pretty countryside/Had been paved down the middle/By a government that had no pride."
14. Right Here, Right Now, by Jesus Jones
The words are vague, but they're also about the fall of Communism: "I was alive and I waited for this ... Watching the world wake up from history."
15. I Fought the Law, by The Crickets
The original law-and-order classic, made famous in 1965 by the Bobby Fuller Four and covered by just about everyone since then.
16. Get Over It, by The Eagles
Against the culture of grievance: "The big, bad world doesn't owe you a thing." There's also this: "I'd like to find your inner child and kick its little ass."
17. Stay Together for the Kids, by Blink 182
A eulogy for family values by an band who were raised in a generation without enough of them: "So here's your holiday/Hope you enjoy it this time/You gave it all away ... It's not right."
18. Cult of Personality, by Living Colour
A hard-rocking critique of state power, whacking Mussolini, Stalin, and even JFK: "I exploit you, still you love me/I tell you one and one makes three/I'm the cult of personality."
19. Kicks, by Paul Revere and the Raiders
An anti-drug song that is also anti-utopian: "Well, you think you're gonna find yourself a little piece of paradise/But it ain't happened yet, so girl you better think twice."
20. Rock the Casbah, by The Clash
After 11 September, radio stations in America were urged not to play this 1982 song, one of the biggest hits by a seminal punk band, because it was considered to be too provocative. Meanwhile, British Forces Broadcasting Service (the radio station for British troops serving in Iraq) has said that this is one of its most requested tunes.
21. Heroes, by David Bowie
A Cold War love song about a man and a woman divided by the Berlin Wall. No moral equivalence here: "I can remember/Standing/By the wall/And the guns/ Shot above our heads/And we kissed/As though nothing could fall/And the shame/Was on the other side/Oh we can beat them/For ever and ever."
22. Red Barchetta, by Rush
In a time of "the Motor Law", presumably legislated by green extremists, the singer describes family reunion and the thrill of driving a fast car - an act that is his "weekly crime".
23. Brick, by Ben Folds Five
Written from the perspective of a man who takes his young girlfriend to an abortion clinic, this song describes the emotional scars of "reproductive freedom": "Now she's feeling more alone/Than she ever has before ... As weeks went by/It showed that she was not fine."
24. Der Kommissar, by After The Fire
On the misery of East German life: "Don't turn around, uh-oh/Der Kommissar's in town, uh-oh/He's got the power/And you're so weak/And your frustration/ Will not let you speak." Also a hit song for Falco, who wrote it.
25. The Battle of Evermore, by Led Zeppelin
The lyrics are out of Robert Plant's Middle Earth period - there are lines about "ring wraiths" and "magic runes" - but for a 1971 song, it's hard to miss the Cold War metaphor resonant during the era: "The tyrant's face is red."
26. Capitalism, by Oingo Boingo
"There's nothing wrong with Capitalism/There's nothing wrong with free enterprise ... You're just a middle class, socialist brat/ From a suburban family and you never really had to work."
27. Obvious Song, by Joe Jackson
For property rights and economic development, and against liberal hypocrisy: "There was a man in the jungle/Trying to make ends meet/Found himself one day with an axe in his hand/When a voice said, 'Buddy can you spare that tree/We gotta save the world - starting with your land'/It was a rock'n'roll millionaire from the USA/Doing three to the gallon in a big white car/And he sang and he sang 'til he polluted the air/And he blew a lot of smoke from a Cuban cigar."
28. Janie's Got a Gun, by Aerosmith
How the right to bear arms can protect women from sexual predators: "What did her daddy do?/It's Janie's last IOU/She had to take him down easy/And put a bullet in his brain/She said 'cause nobody believes me/The man was such a sleaze/He ain't never gonna be the same."
29. Rime of the Ancient Mariner, by Iron Maiden
A heavy metal classic from the British band, inspired by a literary classic. How many other rock songs quote directly from Samuel Taylor Coleridge?
30. You Can't Be Too Strong, by Graham Parker
Although it's not explicitly pro-life, this tune describes the horror of abortion with bracing honesty: "Did they tear it out with talons of steel, and give you a shot so that you wouldn't feel?"
31. Small Town, by John Mellencamp
A Burkean rocker: "No, I cannot forget where it is that I come from/I cannot forget the people who love me."
32. Keep Your Hands to Yourself, by The Georgia Satellites
Lyrics that affirm some old-time sexual mores for the more staid and traditional values: "She said no huggy, no kissy until I get a wedding vow."
33. You Can't Always Get What You Want, by The Rolling Stones
Mick and the boys tell us that you can "[go] down to the demonstration" and vent your frustration, but you must understand that there's no such thing as a perfect society - there are merely decent and free ones.
34. Godzilla, by Blue Oyster Cult
A 1977 classic about a big green monster - and more: "History shows again and again/How nature points up the folly of men."
35. Who'll Stop the Rain?, by Creedence Clearwater Revival
Written as an anti-Vietnam song, nevertheless this is pessimistic about activism and takes a dim view of Communism and liberalism: "Five-year plans and new deals, wrapped in golden chains."
36. Government Cheese, by The Rainmakers
A protest against the welfare state by a Kansas band that deserved more success than it got. The first line: "Give a man a free house and he'll bust out the windows."
37. The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down, by The Band
Despite its sins, the American South always has been about more than racism - this song captures its pride and tradition.
38. I Can't Drive 55, by Sammy Hagar
A rocker's objection to the nanny state and speed limits.
39. Property Line, by The Marshall Tucker Band
The secret to happiness, according to these southern rockers , are life, liberty and property: "Well my idea of a good time/Is walkin' my property line/And knowin' the mud on my boots is mine."
40. Wake Up Little Susie, by The Everly Brothers
A smash hit in 1957, back when high-school social pressures were rather different: "We fell asleep, our goose is cooked, our reputation is shot."
41. The Icicle Melts, by The Cranberries
A pro-life tune sung by the Irish warbler Dolores O'Riordan: "I don't know what's happening to people today/When a child, he was taken away ... 'Cause nine months is too long."
42. Everybody's a Victim, by The Proclaimers
A catchy song about the problem of suspending moral judgement: "It doesn't matter what I do/You have to say it's all right ... Everybody's a victim/We're becoming like the USA."
43. Wonderful, by Everclear
A child's take on divorce: "I don't wanna hear you say/That I will understand someday/No, no, no, no/I don't wanna hear you say/You both have grown in a different way/No, no, no, no/I don't wanna meet your friends."
44. Two Sisters, by The Kinks
Why the "drudgery of being wed" is more rewarding than bohemian life.
45. Taxman, Mr Thief, by Cheap Trick
"You work hard, you went hungry/Now the taxman is out to get you. He hates you, he loves money."
46. Wind of Change, by Scorpions
A ballad about the end of the Cold War: "The world is closing in/Did you ever think/That we could be so close, like brothers/The future's in the air/I can feel it everywhere/Blowing with the wind of change."
47. One, by Creed
Against racial preferences: "Society blind by colour/Why hold down one to raise another/Discrimination now on both sides/Seeds of hate blossom further."
48. Why Don't You Get a Job?, by The Offspring
The lyrics aren't Shakespearean, but they're refreshingly blunt.
49. Abortion, by Kid Rock
"I know your brothers and your sister and your mother too/Man I wish you could see them too."
50. Stand By Your Man, by Tammy Wynette
Hillary Clinton trashed it - isn't that enough?
©2006 National Review, Inc, 215 Lexington Avenue, New York, NY 10016. Reprinted by permission.
Over to you, by Now you've read about the top 50 conservative rock'n'roll hits of all time, we want to hear your inspired suggestions for the liberal hit parade - the more unlikely the track the better. It can be by any artist from A-ha and the Back Street Boys to Franz Ferdinand and the Zutons. Please e-mail one song title, the name of the artist who performed it, a brief explanation of what you see as the song's liberal credentials, and your personal interpretation of the lyrics to songs@independent.co.uk. The best entries will be published.
